Bringing back the old antiquated parenting ideals. I've been contemplating parenting styles a lot lately. Maybe because perhaps I am surrounded daily by my own decisions and issues, but also am affected by the choices and parenting styles of others.Sometimes I am baffled and offended by the choices of others and I am sure others feel the same about my own parenting at times. This post isn't meant to offend others though I know when it comes to parenting styles it is a VERY sensitive issue. But I've really wondered "why" on a lot of parenting issues.
Such as ....why do parents feel they need to teach their children a lesson at the expense of others discomfort and disruption? If your child is throwing a tantrum, running up and down isles in the middle of service, screaming and crying in the middle of ballet class......do you remove the child so as not to disturb the other people/ students in the room? Or do you "stand firm" and make your child sit/participate/or be themselves? For Dave and I, we always remove our children. And it's happened. We are in the sanctuary and someone starts crying....do I try and continue to "teach" them to sit still while in service, or do we remover them until they are calm enough to rejoin what is going on? We choose to remove. The lessons I want to teach my children ARE important but are they more important than being kind and considerate to the others who are around my child?
Why do parents try and force their children into doing things they are not developmentally, socially, emotionally or physically ready for? Toys come with age suggestions, you've seen the 3+ logo in the corner, would you by it for a 6 month old. Trust me, I have, it's was pointless! I didn't get Jonah on a bike at 1 hoping he'd take to riding a Two-wheeler, he wasn't developmentally nor physically ready! Nor would I expect Gracia to sit quietly and contently through a church service, or start trying to teach her at this age to do so, nor would I sit Ellie in the service and expect her to grasp the deep meaning of the message. They are NOT ready! A baby needs room to run and play and giggle! That is what they are ready for developmentally! Jonah still needs training wheels! Ellie needs age appropriate Bible lessons that can spark and interest and love for God on HER level! I feel like as a society we are in such a rush to make our child fit some mold and impress others when our child and meeting them at their level needs to come first! I am not talking about discipline here, that needs to be done also at developmentally appropriate stages! I am talking about having clear expectations for what our child is able to do and then expecting them to do so, at their correct level! I don't expect Jonah to start Algebra by the end of the year, but I want to meet him where he is and encourage his growth and maturity at his level!
One of my favorite topics is the baby leash. I've heard so many people, especially those who aren't parents, discuss this issue. It is amusing how heated this debate can get. We have one, it's a monkey, the kids play with it a lot. And have I used it? Yes yes I have. The few times I remember using it was at a carnival with Ellie and also after Gracia was born trips to the Library with all three kids were hectic. Jonah was 3, Ellie was 2 and Gracia was a newborn (obviously SHE wasn't going anywhere!) Jonah had learned to obey and stay by me, Ellie was just getting into learning to obey (personally I think at the age of 2 and above you can really start to make a difference in obedience with a child~not that younger children can't obey simple commands, but I think they are developmentally ready to learn the concept of obedience after 2~just my opinion). Anyway Ellie wore a leash. She thought it was so fun to run through the open areas of the Library away from her dear mother....I didn't. So she wore a leash. Why? I felt she could have a little freedom and still learn to be close to me. Isn't it the same concept to put them in a stroller? You are strapping them down so they can't move. Or even holding their hands, arms or shirts? Are they learning to obey any differently? I don't believe so. But we all have our comfort levels and styles and limits! To some their limit is their child's feet hitting the ground, they would rather keep them in a stroller! For me letting Ellie have a little freedom while still not allowing her to run around was a good medium.
What's that saying? Don't try and teach a pig to sing.....something about it being frustrating for the pig!!!!!
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